My therapist and I agreed to tackle the violent sexual abuse I experienced when I was four years old and was violated by the neighbor woman. The event took place in the neighbor's kitchen, and during our EMDR session, I imagined I was in the neighbor's living room with the kitchen door closed. Going up the steps to the porch and then into the living room in my memory and imagination was as far as I wanted to go on Monday. Maybe in a month I'll actually get to the kitchen and the event itself, but it may take longer or it may not take that long. It will take as long as it takes, in other words. When I left my therapist on Monday afternoon, my anxiety/fear level was still around 6 on a 10-point scale, so I have work to do yet in desensitizing myself regarding just the experience of entering the neighbor's house and being in the living room. The EMDR process may be slow, but I know from past experience that it is effective.
Tomorrow is another Monday, and I will probably have another EMDR session. If I'm feeling really anxious, I may not have the EMDR session. I won't know until the time comes what I will do. That's okay. It's best to be careful! When I consider this process, I'm amazed that it's possible for me to defuse the emotional charge of an event that took place about seventy years ago. But, then, as scientists learn more and more about the brain, we are just beginning to recognize its potential for healing itself. I don't plan to ever take my brain for granted!
For more information on the incident of abuse that is the target of these EMDR treatments, please read "The Day I Stopped Dancing," posted on 4-28-12. You may also find "My Own Comments on 'The Day I Stopped Dancing'" to be useful. Both essays are found under the topic heading titled Sexual Abuse. Warning: If you have been sexually abused violently as a child, you should not read these essays.
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