On Monday, November 19th, 2012, I had my first EMDR treatment with my present therapist. If you have read my previous two posts, you know about the bungling of my former therapist and my bad reaction to her misuse of EMDR with me. Well, I'm really glad that I decided to try again!
On Monday, my present therapist helped me by "tapping in" the safe place I will go in my imagination if I begin to feel overwhelmed. This was a very gentle experience, very different from my previous experience. I simply sat with my open palms upon my knees while she gently tapped each palm in turn with her fingers. She asked me to let her know if she was tapping too rapidly, and, at one point, I did ask her to tap more slowly.
As my therapist tapped, I focused on my inner resource, my safe place. I felt very relaxed each time she tapped. She did about six repetitions during each round of tapping. When she was finished with each round, she asked what I experienced in my body, and I told her.
When I went into her office at the beginning of my session, I felt a lot of anxiety in the pit of my stomach, anxiety related to my anticipation of the EMDR experience. When I left my therapist, I felt no anxiety related to the EMDR. When I awoke this morning, I could remember the EMDR experience with my previous therapist and remember the reaction I had, but the anxiety, the emotional overload, was gone.
Now, when I remember the previous therapist, I think, "My previous therapist did not properly prepare me for EMDR and did not follow the protocol outlined on the EMDR web site. Why? I don't know. I had a very bad experience, but it's over now. I need to move ahead and do the trauma-related work with EMDR so I can alleviate my over-all anxiety as much as possible."
The odd thing is that when my therapist and I worked yesterday, we did not specifically try to neutralize the emotional impact of the bad experience I had with the previous therapist. We were tapping in resources. However, my subconscious mind must have been working on the bad experience because the emotional impact is gone, and I'm looking forward to more EMDR work.
For more information on installing resources using EMDR, here is an article reprinted from the EMDR Institute's newsletter: http://www.dnmsinstitute.com/doc/rf-emdr.pdf. Remember: Each person is unique, and each person responds differently to EMDR. However, I will try to give you weekly updates on my own experience as I go through the process.
EMDR works! Remember, though, that each person experiences it somewhat differently. Your experience will not be exactly like mine. However, the outcome should be the same--reduced anxiety surrounding the traumas you have experienced. If you are considering EMDR therapy, here is an important web site to help you choose a therapist and to help you understand the process: www.emdr.com/ . If you live in Oregon, here is a web site that is specific to Oregon:http://www.emdrtherapistnetwork.com/emdr-training-consultation-oregon.html
Have a wonderful Thanksgiving!
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